16 days... eeeeek

So, the day is really getting closer. About half of the time I am worried and freaking out inside, and the other half I feel a sense of peace. This time next year I will be "normal" and I may be able to be running my ass off lol.

I have now lost 36 lbs! I was 264 now 228! :D :D :D

My Pre-op with my primary Amy is on Tuesday ( 2 days) and I believe she will have me start cutting down the Phentermine which I am worried about not taking. It has helped me lose the weight so much that I am so scared of gaining it back! Sitting at home for 3 months and nothing to do but EAT LOL. 

I have noticed that the peace I feel is a sort of calming and relief that it is finally here and my hip will be getting fixed soon. I do not know how to live without pain in my hip and being handicapped because of the pain. Though since I have lost weight I have not felt much pain. I woke up a few days ago and pain was all out after 5 minutes of being awake. It has been so long since that has happened! (well, maybe about 2 months!) So it is such a weird feeling not experiencing pain. I have become used to not having pain that I am making mistakes. Quick movements, jumping off a curb, hopping around, doing sidesteps. Last night I really hurt myself. 


I like to sit on the couch with my legs together and bent underneath my right side. Well I pushed up quick my legs to reach out and grab something from the table and felt a HUGE flash of pain. NOT COOL! I like not feeling pain but I am not fixed yet so I do not want to forget to be careful. anyway 2 weeks left.


A fellow PAO-er let me borrow a pre-surgery relaxation CD and so far it has a lot of great advice. I am able to think about this surgery a little differently. I will post the CD name tomorrow, it is in my truck at the moment and its 35 degrees outside and icy...not chancing it! Ok posting tomorrow :D