15 and counting

Well I am down to 15 days, and actually its now evening so pretty much 14 days left :O

I want to continue writing daily to get my feelings and anxiety out about this coming surgery. I am using the advice from the relaxation CD I have been listening to. I am visualizing end results that I want to have happen so I can try to relax about the surgery and focus more on what will be better after. Like when I wake up I want to feel relaxed, and comfortable. I want to visualize myself walking for hours and lastly running with all my strength which is something I have not done in a very long time!

I am very proud of myself and how I have managed to follow my pain management care plan and have not gotten too crazy with the meds. I usually take only a half of a dose every time, and if I need more I take another half. I am so thankful that so far, I have kept the dependence away. The last thing I need is an addiction now! Especially since I see it everywhere now.

It is very funny how the closer I get to my PAO the MORE pain I am feeling. I am able to think about it with an endpoint or a final-ish date instead of a looming fate hanging over my head everywhere I go. I am thinking now in terms of what I will be ABLE to do after instead of all the things I CAN'T do because of the pain. Yes I am frightened of many things but I must take this chance on living a normal life pain free. I want to LIVE. WALK. RUN! 

I recently saw another PAO blog where they said they did not want to complain about their pain. I wish I could read more blogs where people share everything and details about their pain, tears and ups and downs. I would love to read the reality of people and their experience. I am going to keep showing what my experiences are because I think some people need to see the real life pain of fellow PAO-ers. I know people have bad days more often then they show and sometimes I am downright pissed at my hip and my limitations. 

Well my appointment with Amy is tomorrow. Will post all I know!