Ouch, ouch and more ouch!

So, My hip basically went out a week ago. Lots of pain and, this is weird, in more and different areas than usual. I am not sure exactly what caused it, all I know is I was and still am in pain. It is a deep, middle of the hip ache when I move, when I sit still and stand up and walk. It also hurts on the back part of my hip right above my butt and deep in the groin area. It feels closely like if I stretch it just enough, something might break, which I'm guessing is not what I want?  So basically for a few days I was just hanging out and decided to buy a cane to help ease some of it when I'm walking around. The doctor should have given me a lesson with an actual cane when he was telling me I needed to use one. Because dang that was awkward! It just didn't, and still doesn't, feel right...He said use it as a third leg opposite of the pain side. And to step with pain side and use the cane (opposite side) to support. Well that seemed to make it hurt more LOL I tried every which way I could think of but still don't think I have it down. Plus, I was very embarrassed to use it. :( I am finding it very hard to use it in public. I am embarrassed and it is humiliating actually. I'm not thirty and I'm walking with a cane (well not really, bought it and finding it hard to use). It is a little hard to deal with, believe me. This older man with a cane walked by me in the cane section at Walgreen's and he did a double take, which made me feel even more awkward than I was already. So I bought the pink one with roses. I think I would almost like to use crutches, since it might be a little less out of place than a youngin with a cane. Pain medicine, Ibuprofen and stretching has done little to ease it, but it is going away slowly, or maybe I'm becoming used to it? Something about a pain threshold maybe? IDK but this hurts awful!! Work is extremely hard. I am a restaurant manager of a fast food business and I am moving and sitting about fifty-fifty. Both induce pain. Have to move fast and make short, quick movements. Bending or squatting, carrying things. Sitting For long periods of time makes the joint stiffen and causes pain, and also I can feel what I'm guessing to be bone touching bone in a few different areas, depending on how I'm sitting. This week has been very stressful and depressing but I am hopeful that there will soon be an answer :)


I have 9 days till I see the surgeon and I am hoping they have loads of info about my individual issues and more help and ideas. First appt with a surgeon is very scary. I have little idea as to the next few months of docs visits, but from the other blogs I have been reading, there will be lots of exams maybe needles and tests too? When I saw a Dr. with my insurance co., his referral was not if I need surgery, but "operate now, or wait." I did appreciate him and what he said. He was the first Dr. who actually seemed to care about my issue and was sympathetic toward my weight. He explained to me that it is extremely difficult for someone to lose a large amount of weight without exercise at all. (DUH!) And that many people fail if left to restricting diet only (YES I KNOW lol) But it was nice for a change to have a Dr. "on my side." I am so anxious, nervous, excited to hear what the surgeon has to say. Oh I hope this appt will help ease some anxiety. Though I am feeling relief in the fact that we are closer to a solution. IT has been LONG enough and I'm ready to know what the road ahead is going to be. Can't it be 6/16 yet!!!!

Rain Rain, go away

WEDS 6/1

Today is a wonderful rainy day in Seattle, WA and it pretty much fits my mood. Today I need to call and make an appointment to get more pain meds. Every time they treat me like an addict and tell me that it doesn't really help. Um, Hello? It takes my pain down enough so that I can move and work and do daily life things. So I'm pretty sure it helps. And besides, its my right to have pain medicine if I am in pain. I am thinking though I may try to set up pain management instead of just asking for more pain pills. If I have to live with the pain I might as well manage it. I don't really know what there is to offer, but hopefully the doctor wont be so stingy and help me.

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THURS 6/2

Last night started with so much stiffness and pain I couldn't believe it. Yesterday I emailed my DR and asked for medication refill and got a response from another doctor suggesting I set up an appointment with my DR to start a pain management care plan. This probably would have been great for them to suggest like last year! LOL But I am curious what types of care plans are available. I definitely do not want to keep taking narcotic pain medication if there are better and safer ways to manage my pain. They did however refill my request for pain medicine and I am waiting for the pharmacist to fill it.

I think this may be the worst day of pain I have felt. I am going to actually look into getting a walking cane because The stiffness and clicking and loss of strength is terrible. The pain medicine is not taking it away and that is not a good sign. I'm a little more scared now. I do not want to have to depend on a cane and it is a pretty big blow to the ego that before I am even 30 I need help to walk. What will that say for me when I am older? I can only hope that this surgery (don't know which one or anything about it yet) will help tremendously.  I tried stretching, laying flat on my stomach, all the tricks I know, but to no avail. Basically...this just freaking sucks! I am so tired of being my hip and my life revolving on whether my hip is not feeling it today. Ok enough pity party for me...If I find a good cane I will post it :)