Thursday 12.22.11 2 days post.

Today I had no visitors. My mom visited yesterday but she said she was going to come so I told Daniel not to come because I felt so bad about the night before. Well, she didn't come until Saturday so no visitors for me. I spent a lot of today in pain from the headache and only could keep down toast. YUM. I ended up ordering & wasting a lot of food. It sounded good but when I got it, it was not appetizing so I chose not to eat it. The chances of puking up something that didn't taste good going down was pretty high. This day was mostly spent in dark silence again. Today I blew vomit so profusely it filled up the bucket and sprayed with such force past my feet. I am sure it went at least 7 feet from my mouth. All my blankets were completely soaked with an amazing shade of green. The first time I threw up like this it came out neon orange. So they came in and helped clean me up. They washed my legs and face and my back. They got me up to change the bed all while I was crying. That feeling of helplessness and complete dependence on another human is such a low feeling. At the same time they were cleaning me up, a nurse assistant came in and installed a trapeze handle to help me in getting in and out of bed. This was awkward to learn to use but it did help.

Today I got my catheter out which I was not happy about because that meant I had to get up now and start moving. I had PT/OT today which is basically getting up to stand, washing me up a little bit and getting me back in bed. We would have gotten me into a wheel chair and started to get me moving on the walker but because of the headache and nausea I was super dizzy and pale and almost passed out a few times. My PT/OT visits were cut short. When I finally felt like I had to pee, I got onto the commode which was standard size and so uncomfortable. So they got a bariatric commode which is for larger people. I am not super big to need it but I needed to open my legs wider than the standard size. The bigger one was so much more comfortable.The first time going pee was so hard. I had stage fright. It took about 30 mins the first time. I think the catheter does something to your bladder and you have to re-learn how to pee on your own. Everyone had to leave the room. I had a puke bucket, a pitcher of ice water, the water running in the sink and sitting on the commode was painful. So I tried maneuvering around, leaning side-to-side. Deep breathing, coughing (which hurt my hip/incision). I eventually had to hold one hand in the ice water and the other hand splashed water on me. FINALLY I PEED!!!! VICTORY! Oh my god, it felt so good but stopped quick. NO! I wasn't done! LOL It took another few minutes to get going again, but felt great. :)