This is my journey with DDH and my experience. I have found that reading the wonderful blogs belonging to some courageous women has helped me immensely and I am hoping that my words will be as helpful to someone else. Enjoy!
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
Today is PAO.
In pre op, washed mt hip again, got dressed in fancy panties cause I started my period, and the hospital down. Got my non slip socks on, green for the holidays :)
The nurses asked me several times to verify my name and dob. Which is a really good thing! There are 2 people ahead of me.
the nurse have me a bunch of medicine. 3 Neurontin, 1 oxicontin and 2 tylenol to get me going. Starting to feel a little loose lol. The nurse warned me about the teds and said when I wake up I will have my legs wrapped with some thing that will inflate and deflate to simulate walking and push the blood out of my calves. They also said when I wake up since I will be having a spinal I can order food as soon as I want it...which is now. I'm wanting some sausage egg mcmuffin that my hubby had on the way in. those smelled so good! Well thats a basic of right now. I will be going back to OR soon and see the anesthesiogist and Dr. Downer to sign my hip.
Ok funny! The nurses brought this guy back in post-op who was knocked out. well they crashed him into the side of the nurse counter and knocked hella shit off the counter. For done reason it was so funny I almost cried from laughing. The guy didn't even budge lol!
Ok off for now, my hubby will be keeping notes for me so I can post them here. like I see so many woman say, See you on the other side!
Sunday, December 18, 2011
1 Day left...
Dum de dum dum!!!
Well tomorrow is my last full day of somewhat normalcy for a while. We went shopping, saw Santa which happened to be my uncle and visited my cousins for a bit. Got a few things for the hospital for me like dried fruit and powerade for when I can eat in the hospital. I dont want to have any pooper issues and if dried fruit helps then I got to try it lol
Tomorrow is my last day at work so busy day ahead of me. *sigh*
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
6 days...Oops I missed a few
Well I am finishing the last few minutes of 6 days left. I had my Pre-op with Dr. Downer today and I really do love him. He is so polite and encouraging but at the same time he weighs all the risks and really explains everything in doctor-speak and in terms you can understand. He takes all the time you need and answers everything you need to know. Anyone who lives in Washington state and needs a PAO, I suggest checking him out. I have his link on the left side of this blog. He is highly recommended and does this surgery a lot. A minimum of once a week. Yesterday he did a THR and 2 PAO in one day! Busy guy!!! I was a little nervous counting down the time and we talked about a few things. He put me more at ease.
In one post I wrote about my traumatic experience with a spinal anesthetic. He explained the difference between pregnancy spinals and a controlled surgery spinal. During pregnancy blood is tripled and there is a lot of swelling which causes the markers of where the needle should go in to be off. During a PAO everything is routine and planned out and there is lot less stress and pressure to get things moving quickly. He also told me that in even as little as 5 years, the needles are so minimal now compared to what might have been used 5 yrs ago. So he really put me at ease. Which I am very happy about!
I asked him about how long will it take since I have heard 3-5 hrs. He
made a "GAH!" sound and literally said: "No way. I never see why they
spend so much time in there. I don't like to play around. Get in, get
out. Start the healing. I did one yesterday and it took one hour and
fifteen minutes. Should be no more than an hour and a half."
I asked him about the numb patches that many people end up having. He explained how and why it happens. He said that he makes the incision on the more outer part of the hip for the specific reason that there is a nerve patch that runs down the front of the hip and branches out right where many PAOs are done. He does his incision more out to avoid hitting these nerves. He said his patients experiencing numb patches is really low. When I explained to him that I had one from my c-section he let me know that I may be at a higher chance to have it again. I have been dealing with it for 5 years, so I mean, if he fixes my hip but I have a numb patch, I can deal with that!
One great thing he amazed me with is the fact that he noticed I lost weight and I haven't seen him in 4 months! They did not even weigh me either! That was great :)
After I saw Dr. Downer I drove over to Swedish in Ballard to get the nose swab for MRSA and get 2 vials of blood drawn so they can do a type and cross match and order blood from the Seattle Blood Supply (Puget Sound Blood bank) in case I need a transfusion. The nurse went over all the great stuff: No jewelry, metal, lotion, conditioner, oils, etc. Don't bring valuables, however there is free wi-fi and outlets in the room lol. I will be getting my own room WHOOHOO!! haha
The pre-admit nurse Tess and I were talking about some things. She told me not to shave from here until I get home and feel up to it. She said that the micro abrasions from the razor may cause micro-infections and we don't want to add the chance of post-op infections. Good thing I trimmed up all the girlie places recently! She also told me that Swedish in Ballard has gone over 2 years with NO post-op infections. I don't know what that record is compared to other places, but I think that sounds good. Tess told me also my insurance does not cover stupidity so if I need to go pee, CALL THE NURSE. Don't think I can do it on my own.
Sunday, December 11, 2011
A thankyou post to all...
Well just about 8 days til surgery and I am calming down a lot. I am excited and can't wait to have this be done. Finally. I am ready to start healing and be normal-ish. I wanted spend a quick second to thank everyone who has given me support and help and such kind real words. I have met some wonderful people in the PAO facebook group and all my wonderful friends who have wished me well and give me loving support. All the Danielle's in FB PAO, Jen, Danielle for the CD. Thanks to you ladies. All the members in the PAO group have given me such help and experience. Thanks so much to everyone!
I also wanted to thank my wonderful husband for trying to be supportive even though I know he is probably freaking out more than I am! And to Dr. Downer for saving me from pain.
I have learned so much, and I know there is a place where EVERYONE knows what I am going through. I appreciate it so much you may never know. I originally started this blog to help someone else in my place but it has turned into a spot for me to release my stresses and feelings. And getting my feelings out has helped so much. Ok enough for now...off to read some more blogs and post tomorrow.
I also wanted to thank my wonderful husband for trying to be supportive even though I know he is probably freaking out more than I am! And to Dr. Downer for saving me from pain.
Today is 9 days
So for some reason, my left hip is acting up. I hope I don't end up needing the left done. Shesh. Well today I'm taking my 5yo daughter Mickaela to build a bear. Hope we have fun! :)
10
Had my holiday celebration party at my restaurant last night. I was standing and walking around for a few hours and hurt last night pretty good :(
Short post but thats it lol
Friday, December 9, 2011
11 days
Well, down another day...Getting very close! I voiced some fears in PAO face book group and that group has so many wonderful women in there with so much insight and experience. Another day with pain! I am growing tired of it. I got my leave of absence papers today from my company and if anyone needs to apply for LOA I suggest you do it early. No one in my company suggested I get on the ball. I suddenly thought it was a good idea to call and ask if there was anything I was supposed to do and yep, there was. I was supposed to apply with 30 days in advance and get my surgeon to fill out and sign a few pages and send it in. I will have to have Downer fill out on 12/14 and send it in. I also have to do the same to get my short term disability pay in order to collect a pay check. I really hope they get it and approve everything asap so I don't have to suffer with a gap in pay until the short term kicks in which is usually a week after I apply and become disabled. I have enough leave balance of vacation and sick time so that should be fine. I just hope with the holidays and all they don't take too long...I may have to send 2 or 3 day priority to make sure it gets there quick. Talk about stressful!! Crossing my fingers!!
Thursday, December 8, 2011
12 days
Oops I missed a post yestetday. I had a lot of pain and had to work late last night so I forgot. So yesterday I had my phone pre-op with swedish and went over a few things with them to clear me. Interesting thing I found out. Well apparently "donating my own blood" and "getting 2 vials of blood drawn" are 2 different things! I asked them a few weeks ago if I needed to donate my own blood (3 times) and they said no, they don't store it there and they hardly every need to use it. So when they told me yestetday to stop by and get my bloods drawn and get a nose swab done, I was confused and asked them if the "H&P" tests my primary did on tuesday were enough. She said yes but they want to keep 2 vials of my blood in case I need it. When I told her about when I called asking if I need to give my blood she said no we dont take donated blood. I told her, im not donating it, its for me! Apparently you ned to say the right stuff lol so in the conversation, I asked her why we were doing a phone preop when I had one scheduled next week? She told me I didn't have one scheduled next week. I thought hmmm all this time I thought I dId? So it turns out my preop is with dr Downer! Good thing I asked! Shesh, talk about a newbie in all this...any way so I see Dr Downer next week, then I stop by swedish to "get some blood drawn" and a nasal swab to test for MRSA. And my hip is hurting me so bad I can't stand it! Its really giving me the last few bits of pain it can I guess. :)
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
Quick Quote :)
Stress is like a Rocking chair you go back and forth but you do not get any where.... So stop rocking!!
Love this...though wish I could remember this all the time :D
14 Days
Had my pre-op appointment with my Primary doctor Amy. We went over all my vitals, weight, and did a typical physical to check for any issues or sickness. Issues with blood pressure, pulse, temp, and other things. We also did another EKG and I got 3 tubes of blood drawn to clear me for surgery. So far I'm good to go!! She was impressed with my weight loss also and we talked a little bit about my pre-surgery jitters.
I went down the hall and got another copy of all my x-rays, MRI, and reports attached. Apparently when I had my appointment with Dr. Downer in August he had the CD and when I was leaving I asked if I could have everything back. Just in case I wanted to keep looking for doctors and no go with him. So he gave me the CD back. Or so I thought! I went looking for it to just see all my x-rays again and when I pulled out the case and opened it, the case was empty! I guess Dr. Downer kept the CD! LOL It cost me nothing to get another one so I got it.
While I was at the clinic, I stopped by the Business Office to get a Durable Power of Attorney forms and to look over a Living Will. The Power of Attorney is just in case so my husband can make decisions over me, my finances, etc. And I guess a Living Will is not something I am interested in signing. A Living Will is basically you signing a legal document that makes known your wishes regarding life prolonging medical treatments. The very top of the form has a line that says you are signing to request that you are not resuscitated. That freaks me out! I had to put it away until I find out a little more info on it. I want all measures taken to prolong my life if possible. I appointed my husband as my power of attorney. These kinds of things are pretty scary but in case there is an issue, I don't want any doctors making decisions for me or my husband. I want him to decide for me. Its funny how the older you get the more you think about things like this. I have had a few surgeries in the last 5 years and not one of those times, did I think about planning like this. I guess I have gotten older. The family I come from is more hush-hush about things like this and for me, I can't be that way. I must plan for anything that can happen. Even my death. Just in case.
Alright so when I get results back I'll post. Until tomorrow!
I went down the hall and got another copy of all my x-rays, MRI, and reports attached. Apparently when I had my appointment with Dr. Downer in August he had the CD and when I was leaving I asked if I could have everything back. Just in case I wanted to keep looking for doctors and no go with him. So he gave me the CD back. Or so I thought! I went looking for it to just see all my x-rays again and when I pulled out the case and opened it, the case was empty! I guess Dr. Downer kept the CD! LOL It cost me nothing to get another one so I got it.
While I was at the clinic, I stopped by the Business Office to get a Durable Power of Attorney forms and to look over a Living Will. The Power of Attorney is just in case so my husband can make decisions over me, my finances, etc. And I guess a Living Will is not something I am interested in signing. A Living Will is basically you signing a legal document that makes known your wishes regarding life prolonging medical treatments. The very top of the form has a line that says you are signing to request that you are not resuscitated. That freaks me out! I had to put it away until I find out a little more info on it. I want all measures taken to prolong my life if possible. I appointed my husband as my power of attorney. These kinds of things are pretty scary but in case there is an issue, I don't want any doctors making decisions for me or my husband. I want him to decide for me. Its funny how the older you get the more you think about things like this. I have had a few surgeries in the last 5 years and not one of those times, did I think about planning like this. I guess I have gotten older. The family I come from is more hush-hush about things like this and for me, I can't be that way. I must plan for anything that can happen. Even my death. Just in case.
Monday, December 5, 2011
15 and counting
Well I am down to 15 days, and actually its now evening so pretty much 14 days left :O
I want to continue writing daily to get my feelings and anxiety out about this coming surgery. I am using the advice from the relaxation CD I have been listening to. I am visualizing end results that I want to have happen so I can try to relax about the surgery and focus more on what will be better after. Like when I wake up I want to feel relaxed, and comfortable. I want to visualize myself walking for hours and lastly running with all my strength which is something I have not done in a very long time!
I am very proud of myself and how I have managed to follow my pain management care plan and have not gotten too crazy with the meds. I usually take only a half of a dose every time, and if I need more I take another half. I am so thankful that so far, I have kept the dependence away. The last thing I need is an addiction now! Especially since I see it everywhere now.
I recently saw another PAO blog where they said they did not want to complain about their pain. I wish I could read more blogs where people share everything and details about their pain, tears and ups and downs. I would love to read the reality of people and their experience. I am going to keep showing what my experiences are because I think some people need to see the real life pain of fellow PAO-ers. I know people have bad days more often then they show and sometimes I am downright pissed at my hip and my limitations.
Well my appointment with Amy is tomorrow. Will post all I know!
I want to continue writing daily to get my feelings and anxiety out about this coming surgery. I am using the advice from the relaxation CD I have been listening to. I am visualizing end results that I want to have happen so I can try to relax about the surgery and focus more on what will be better after. Like when I wake up I want to feel relaxed, and comfortable. I want to visualize myself walking for hours and lastly running with all my strength which is something I have not done in a very long time!
I am very proud of myself and how I have managed to follow my pain management care plan and have not gotten too crazy with the meds. I usually take only a half of a dose every time, and if I need more I take another half. I am so thankful that so far, I have kept the dependence away. The last thing I need is an addiction now! Especially since I see it everywhere now.
It is very funny how the closer I get to my PAO the MORE pain I am feeling. I am able to think about it with an endpoint or a final-ish date instead of a looming fate hanging over my head everywhere I go. I am thinking now in terms of what I will be ABLE to do after instead of all the things I CAN'T do because of the pain. Yes I am frightened of many things but I must take this chance on living a normal life pain free. I want to LIVE. WALK. RUN!
Well my appointment with Amy is tomorrow. Will post all I know!
Sunday, December 4, 2011
16 days... eeeeek
So, the day is really getting closer. About half of the time I am worried and freaking out inside, and the other half I feel a sense of peace. This time next year I will be "normal" and I may be able to be running my ass off lol.
I have now lost 36 lbs! I was 264 now 228! :D :D :D
My Pre-op with my primary Amy is on Tuesday ( 2 days) and I believe she will have me start cutting down the Phentermine which I am worried about not taking. It has helped me lose the weight so much that I am so scared of gaining it back! Sitting at home for 3 months and nothing to do but EAT LOL.
I have noticed that the peace I feel is a sort of calming and relief that it is finally here and my hip will be getting fixed soon. I do not know how to live without pain in my hip and being handicapped because of the pain. Though since I have lost weight I have not felt much pain. I woke up a few days ago and pain was all out after 5 minutes of being awake. It has been so long since that has happened! (well, maybe about 2 months!) So it is such a weird feeling not experiencing pain. I have become used to not having pain that I am making mistakes. Quick movements, jumping off a curb, hopping around, doing sidesteps. Last night I really hurt myself.
I like to sit on the couch with my legs together and bent underneath my right side. Well I pushed up quick my legs to reach out and grab something from the table and felt a HUGE flash of pain. NOT COOL! I like not feeling pain but I am not fixed yet so I do not want to forget to be careful. anyway 2 weeks left.
A fellow PAO-er let me borrow a pre-surgery relaxation CD and so far it has a lot of great advice. I am able to think about this surgery a little differently. I will post the CD name tomorrow, it is in my truck at the moment and its 35 degrees outside and icy...not chancing it! Ok posting tomorrow :D
I have now lost 36 lbs! I was 264 now 228! :D :D :D
My Pre-op with my primary Amy is on Tuesday ( 2 days) and I believe she will have me start cutting down the Phentermine which I am worried about not taking. It has helped me lose the weight so much that I am so scared of gaining it back! Sitting at home for 3 months and nothing to do but EAT LOL.
I have noticed that the peace I feel is a sort of calming and relief that it is finally here and my hip will be getting fixed soon. I do not know how to live without pain in my hip and being handicapped because of the pain. Though since I have lost weight I have not felt much pain. I woke up a few days ago and pain was all out after 5 minutes of being awake. It has been so long since that has happened! (well, maybe about 2 months!) So it is such a weird feeling not experiencing pain. I have become used to not having pain that I am making mistakes. Quick movements, jumping off a curb, hopping around, doing sidesteps. Last night I really hurt myself.
I like to sit on the couch with my legs together and bent underneath my right side. Well I pushed up quick my legs to reach out and grab something from the table and felt a HUGE flash of pain. NOT COOL! I like not feeling pain but I am not fixed yet so I do not want to forget to be careful. anyway 2 weeks left.
A fellow PAO-er let me borrow a pre-surgery relaxation CD and so far it has a lot of great advice. I am able to think about this surgery a little differently. I will post the CD name tomorrow, it is in my truck at the moment and its 35 degrees outside and icy...not chancing it! Ok posting tomorrow :D
Saturday, December 3, 2011
17 days
Well 17 days to go. I am sort of calming down about it. Got a pre surgery relaxation cd from a fellow pao-er and so far I really like what I hear.
On a side note... I now weigh 229! Thats officially 35 lbs. I can't believe I have made it this far.i have 5 more to go to make my goal of 40 by my surgery. I am worried about gaining after surgery though and I will be stopping the phentermine on tuesday or cutting it down. Atyyy
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
19 days...
Well, today I have had some serious anxiety. I have a TON of stresses coming
from my restaurant and having to leave it and I feel like I do not have enough
time to be leaving it in the hands of one of my team leaders and hoping they
keep up the progress we have been working towards. But I am doing my best to
prepare them for my absence and that is all I can do. I am typically not one to
be overly anxious, stressed out or get all crazy over issues. I always am able
to deal with whatever comes my way either by "putting it away" until
I can sort it out later, rationalize the situation, or hit it head on and fix
it. But, right now, it seems as though everything is compounding and I can only
"put so much away."
My daughter is having some issues in school and has been in trouble a lot and she is 3 months into kindergarten. We are meeting with the principle tomorrow to discuss what we are going to do about her aggressive behavior, and we are also planning on beginning family therapy to work on teaching her the right ways to express herself so she doesn't get kicked out of school. Again, she is 5 and in KINDERGARTEN!! :(
I feel like my surgery is coming so fast that I don’t have enough time. I am very close to freaking out fully at any moment. I just had my period about 2-3 weeks ago and since I am always about 30-35 days in between, this is pretty odd but I am having a "weak" period. EWW alert! I am not sure what exactly it is, but it is not a full blown period, just enough for a "light-day" panty liner, and the stuff is different but definitely period. It is very strange since I did not have any pre-period symptoms like cramps, or cyst pain or emotional jags. Oh well, I hope I am not pregnant. My husband and I are not exactly abstinent but we are taking precautions. Since we have been trying for 3 years to have another child, and it took us 3 years to have our daughter, I fear that just my luck; I would end up pregnant right before this surgery. And, I have even been having nightmares about it! Sheesh! For the most part, I am ready to have the surgery. My daughter will be out on break for the first 2 weeks and will be at daycare while Daniel is at work and they will come see me after he is off. They won’t let him be off for too much, but he is getting a few days here and there. So that s is making me a little sad. I will only have Daniel for a few hours a day in the evening, otherwise will be by myself. Not really any family that I would want in there with me and the ones I do want have their own lives and don’t live close. So I have to put my big girl panties on and deal with it.
When I am thinking about what exactly is causing me the most fear, I think that what come to mind are the most negative experiences I have had thus-far. So with my C-section, I always wanted to have a C-section but since my cervix would not open up after a week of different approaches to inducing labor, they asked me if I wanted to start more aggressively with Pitocin or have a C-section, and yes I am a bit selfish in this decision, but girls, I am sure you understand. I decided to go with the C-section because all along I did not want my VJ stretched to the size of a bowling ball and never go back to the way it was before. And for some reason, having the surgery seemed a lot easier...go figure. Anyway, after they asked me, I had an hour before they were wheeling me back. No time to dwell. So they dress me and Daniel up in hospital garb and wheel me to the room. The plan being I would remain awake and Daniel would be there with me. When they began the epidural, I sat on the edge of the bed and then I freaked out. I did not want a needle in my back!! So they told me "guide" them. If I feel it on either side or feel a nerve sensation to tell them. Well they stuck it in, I jumped and then it stabbed the right side and I felt nerve in my right leg. I was freaking out. So they laid me down. My legs began to feel very heavy and then they stretched out my right arm for IV, and strapped my left arm down. I was feeling a little light headed and scared shit-less. So they start poking around I guess to see if you are numbed up and they pinched my belly so hard! I asked them if I was supposed to feel that and they said no, do you? I said yes and they pinched me some more, so then things got crazy. They said they had to move fast, the epidural did not work and that they had to knock me out and Daniel could not come in there. I panicked. I began to cry and one nurse came by my face was talking to me telling me it was ok. She put a mask on my face, began to hold it down on my while holding my head still. This came across as she was choking me since her hand was on my neck. I fell asleep crying, thinking they were killing me. When I woke up 30 mins later, I was still crying and freaking out hysterically but I did not have any pain and felt a huge "cement" warm, blanket feeling on my tummy. I kept crying for about an hour. I was a mess. After a few days of pain, we realized I ended up with a rare spinal headache where the spinal cord is leaking fluid causing the brain to hang on the spine. VERY PAINFUL. Also I was nauseous after surgery and threw up a few times. Not a good feeling. The headache lasted almost 3 weeks and they were about to take blood from my arm and inject it into my spinal column to clot the hole and seal it, but that had huge risks of infection potentially not being able to walk or being paralyzed, so we waited it out and it went away that night. Imagine not being able to move except crawling, not being to nurse your newborn, or get out of bed after having this done to pee or anything. I was miserable.
Experience 2: about 3 years ago I ended up with gall stones and the doctor said we could try to pass them painfully or take out my gall bladder. It runs in my family and many of them have had it out so I figured, HEY? Get it out! So that was about 1-2 weeks before it was taken out. Not much time to dwell. Went to the hospital, hooked up to IV and waited. They let me sit for a while and then took me back. The OR was extremely cold and white everywhere, looked like something else was going down in there, similar to a morgue. Yuck! So they started to knock me out and that was it. When I woke up, the nurse popped me 2 vicodin and shortly after that we found out I can’t handle my vicodin lol. I was throwing up a lot! I was about to be admitted because I was not able to be recovered enough for them to let me go home. I was very nauseous and couldn’t stay alert. After going home, I was in terrible pain, had a fever and pain meds made me throw up. The gases they pumped my tummy up with were settling in my body and that was so painful. They told me to sit up so the gas would rise up and that I would have a lot of pain in my chest, and shoulders while the gas was being absorbed in my body. And YES, it was painful. It was so much pressure and pain that did not go away. Thankfully, I was able to deal with the recovery well after that.
I had a carpal tunnel surgery which I was awake for, not much with that. It went well.
Arthrogram MRI this summer not good. I was very calm and excited to have my first MRI ever. I was cool and relaxed all the way up until I lay on the table. Then, all hell broke loose. I do not particularly like needles and have been known to be frightened severely of them. However, drawn blood and shots, no big deal. Go figure. Anyway I lay down, and began to panic. Crying, my whole body was tensed, I was hyperventilating. The assistant was petting my head, and drying my tears, but to no good. It hurt for the needle to go in and I did not like the experience one bit.
So of all my experiences, I mostly have not had good ones. I am scared, and not of the pain. I am scared of them putting anything into my back, I am scared of dying, and I am scared of being able to feel it. I am flat out scared. I am going to try to post daily and get this all out to help me relax. I hope it helps!
Things left to do:
Plan and make some easy to heat meals.
Get a grabber, back scratcher, and sock aid, and silky pj's or a sleep shirt.
Get my hair done before surgery.
Get some more "busy work" things for me to do so I am not bored.
My daughter is having some issues in school and has been in trouble a lot and she is 3 months into kindergarten. We are meeting with the principle tomorrow to discuss what we are going to do about her aggressive behavior, and we are also planning on beginning family therapy to work on teaching her the right ways to express herself so she doesn't get kicked out of school. Again, she is 5 and in KINDERGARTEN!! :(
I feel like my surgery is coming so fast that I don’t have enough time. I am very close to freaking out fully at any moment. I just had my period about 2-3 weeks ago and since I am always about 30-35 days in between, this is pretty odd but I am having a "weak" period. EWW alert! I am not sure what exactly it is, but it is not a full blown period, just enough for a "light-day" panty liner, and the stuff is different but definitely period. It is very strange since I did not have any pre-period symptoms like cramps, or cyst pain or emotional jags. Oh well, I hope I am not pregnant. My husband and I are not exactly abstinent but we are taking precautions. Since we have been trying for 3 years to have another child, and it took us 3 years to have our daughter, I fear that just my luck; I would end up pregnant right before this surgery. And, I have even been having nightmares about it! Sheesh! For the most part, I am ready to have the surgery. My daughter will be out on break for the first 2 weeks and will be at daycare while Daniel is at work and they will come see me after he is off. They won’t let him be off for too much, but he is getting a few days here and there. So that s is making me a little sad. I will only have Daniel for a few hours a day in the evening, otherwise will be by myself. Not really any family that I would want in there with me and the ones I do want have their own lives and don’t live close. So I have to put my big girl panties on and deal with it.
When I am thinking about what exactly is causing me the most fear, I think that what come to mind are the most negative experiences I have had thus-far. So with my C-section, I always wanted to have a C-section but since my cervix would not open up after a week of different approaches to inducing labor, they asked me if I wanted to start more aggressively with Pitocin or have a C-section, and yes I am a bit selfish in this decision, but girls, I am sure you understand. I decided to go with the C-section because all along I did not want my VJ stretched to the size of a bowling ball and never go back to the way it was before. And for some reason, having the surgery seemed a lot easier...go figure. Anyway, after they asked me, I had an hour before they were wheeling me back. No time to dwell. So they dress me and Daniel up in hospital garb and wheel me to the room. The plan being I would remain awake and Daniel would be there with me. When they began the epidural, I sat on the edge of the bed and then I freaked out. I did not want a needle in my back!! So they told me "guide" them. If I feel it on either side or feel a nerve sensation to tell them. Well they stuck it in, I jumped and then it stabbed the right side and I felt nerve in my right leg. I was freaking out. So they laid me down. My legs began to feel very heavy and then they stretched out my right arm for IV, and strapped my left arm down. I was feeling a little light headed and scared shit-less. So they start poking around I guess to see if you are numbed up and they pinched my belly so hard! I asked them if I was supposed to feel that and they said no, do you? I said yes and they pinched me some more, so then things got crazy. They said they had to move fast, the epidural did not work and that they had to knock me out and Daniel could not come in there. I panicked. I began to cry and one nurse came by my face was talking to me telling me it was ok. She put a mask on my face, began to hold it down on my while holding my head still. This came across as she was choking me since her hand was on my neck. I fell asleep crying, thinking they were killing me. When I woke up 30 mins later, I was still crying and freaking out hysterically but I did not have any pain and felt a huge "cement" warm, blanket feeling on my tummy. I kept crying for about an hour. I was a mess. After a few days of pain, we realized I ended up with a rare spinal headache where the spinal cord is leaking fluid causing the brain to hang on the spine. VERY PAINFUL. Also I was nauseous after surgery and threw up a few times. Not a good feeling. The headache lasted almost 3 weeks and they were about to take blood from my arm and inject it into my spinal column to clot the hole and seal it, but that had huge risks of infection potentially not being able to walk or being paralyzed, so we waited it out and it went away that night. Imagine not being able to move except crawling, not being to nurse your newborn, or get out of bed after having this done to pee or anything. I was miserable.
Experience 2: about 3 years ago I ended up with gall stones and the doctor said we could try to pass them painfully or take out my gall bladder. It runs in my family and many of them have had it out so I figured, HEY? Get it out! So that was about 1-2 weeks before it was taken out. Not much time to dwell. Went to the hospital, hooked up to IV and waited. They let me sit for a while and then took me back. The OR was extremely cold and white everywhere, looked like something else was going down in there, similar to a morgue. Yuck! So they started to knock me out and that was it. When I woke up, the nurse popped me 2 vicodin and shortly after that we found out I can’t handle my vicodin lol. I was throwing up a lot! I was about to be admitted because I was not able to be recovered enough for them to let me go home. I was very nauseous and couldn’t stay alert. After going home, I was in terrible pain, had a fever and pain meds made me throw up. The gases they pumped my tummy up with were settling in my body and that was so painful. They told me to sit up so the gas would rise up and that I would have a lot of pain in my chest, and shoulders while the gas was being absorbed in my body. And YES, it was painful. It was so much pressure and pain that did not go away. Thankfully, I was able to deal with the recovery well after that.
I had a carpal tunnel surgery which I was awake for, not much with that. It went well.
Arthrogram MRI this summer not good. I was very calm and excited to have my first MRI ever. I was cool and relaxed all the way up until I lay on the table. Then, all hell broke loose. I do not particularly like needles and have been known to be frightened severely of them. However, drawn blood and shots, no big deal. Go figure. Anyway I lay down, and began to panic. Crying, my whole body was tensed, I was hyperventilating. The assistant was petting my head, and drying my tears, but to no good. It hurt for the needle to go in and I did not like the experience one bit.
So of all my experiences, I mostly have not had good ones. I am scared, and not of the pain. I am scared of them putting anything into my back, I am scared of dying, and I am scared of being able to feel it. I am flat out scared. I am going to try to post daily and get this all out to help me relax. I hope it helps!
Things left to do:
Plan and make some easy to heat meals.
Get a grabber, back scratcher, and sock aid, and silky pj's or a sleep shirt.
Get my hair done before surgery.
Get some more "busy work" things for me to do so I am not bored.
Saturday, November 26, 2011
Weight Loss pics
I just wanted to show a couple of weight loss pics because I am so proud of everything I have done even without being able to workout at all :D
#1 was in April 2011 (7 months ago) at 264
#2 was October 2011 (6 weeks ago) at 236
#3 was November 24th, 2011 at 231 33 lbs lost!!!
#1 was in April 2011 (7 months ago) at 264
#2 was October 2011 (6 weeks ago) at 236
#3 was November 24th, 2011 at 231 33 lbs lost!!!
3 weeks 2 days
Counting down here OMG its coming fast!! I survived my first thanksgiving feast at my house. I planned, prepared, cooked and hosted my first Thanksgiving. Hubby helped me when it came time to cook, but for the most part it was just me. And everything went perfect!!! Both of us have never done it before and the turkey was amazing!! Felt good to plan it and have it all come together perfect with family there :D
So, its getting pretty close to D-Day. I have a BUNCH of appointments to do and my store is needing a lot of work before i leave. So much to do!!!!! I have some xmas lights up and plan on doing some more today or tomorrow and getting out the decorations and picking out our tree. Plus i have my 5yo's presents done, just need to wrap them. I also must plan and shop for an xmas party at my store whooo I have a lot to do!! yikes!
But, I will sleep and rest in a few weeks lol!!
So, its getting pretty close to D-Day. I have a BUNCH of appointments to do and my store is needing a lot of work before i leave. So much to do!!!!! I have some xmas lights up and plan on doing some more today or tomorrow and getting out the decorations and picking out our tree. Plus i have my 5yo's presents done, just need to wrap them. I also must plan and shop for an xmas party at my store whooo I have a lot to do!! yikes!
But, I will sleep and rest in a few weeks lol!!
Sunday, November 20, 2011
30 days and counting....
So, I have actually 29 days left until my RPAO. I have mixed feelings at the moment. I have lost 33 lbs and I barely feel any pain or achiness. Sometimes I feel a twinge of tear pain or achiness at night but mostly it feels like I may not need the surgery. I guess I might be experiencing a little "cold-feet." I know I need the surgery but the pain level tells me otherwise. I am not cancelling it. I will have it done because it will help me but I hate the part of thinking whether I need it or not. Also, I have begun to feel similar pains in my left hip. Very subtle and achy at times when I am at work, driving or standing on the left leg. I dont know whether it is because I am using it more these days to strengthen it or if I may need an LPAO. I know a lot of women end up needing them both done, but as yet, I havent felt any issues with it. When I look at my xrays though, I do see some dysplasia but HEY I'm not a doctor, so I guess we will see and right now I am in no hurry to "hop" into another surgery recovery.
As the time gets closer, I have some many stresses rambling around in my brain. One being we have been wanting to have another child for many years (our oldest just turned 5) and so far no luck. I have PCOS and have had it for a long time (10+ years). Basically, I have a ton of horomones that cause my periods to be irregular or not at all, and if I do become preggo the horomones kill the egg. My 5y.o. is really a miracle. :) So the closer we get to my surgery, I am scared that I will become pregnant and not be able to have the surgery. Its so close I dont want it to go away, but if I am preggo, let's be honest....my hips can wait :D We haven't been doing anything differently. Same procedure, but not filling the tank if you get what I mean. But it would be just my luck to find out I am pregnant.
Another thing I am worried about is the fact that store will be franchised out either right before or while i am recovering. In the case that happens, I will be forced to return to work and re-apply for my job, and if I am on crutches, I dont know how physically capable they will see me. So I am worried about that, but since we are so close now, that is not likely.
Another things is that the insurance companies may decide its not necessary and deny the surgery. I may need to look into how to make sure these guys dont try no bull shit. And as far as my job goes, I am totally stressed about leaving my store for someone else to care for!! GAH!
Another thing is the week of and after my surgery. I will be spending a lot of hospital time alone without family (husband). Which will be lonely :( But I can do it and I will be home soon. And who knows, maybe someone will show up and keep me company.
In 16 days, Dec 6th is my appt with my PCP to get tests done and all that jazz before surgery. Blood tests, EKG, etc. Also we will be looking at my health since my weight loss so that will be cool to discus :D
And 3 weeks til my pro-op appointment. I called my surgeon's assistant to ask a couple ?'s One being about when to donate my blood. She let me know that at the location of Swedish Hospital that the surgery will take place, the facility does not store donated blood like that onsite because they cannot store it. So they told me unless I have any issues in my history or any issues currently, I do not need to donate my blood. They said they test mine before and then have what they have at the facility ready to go just in case. But they cant store patients blood there.
Until next post.... :)
As the time gets closer, I have some many stresses rambling around in my brain. One being we have been wanting to have another child for many years (our oldest just turned 5) and so far no luck. I have PCOS and have had it for a long time (10+ years). Basically, I have a ton of horomones that cause my periods to be irregular or not at all, and if I do become preggo the horomones kill the egg. My 5y.o. is really a miracle. :) So the closer we get to my surgery, I am scared that I will become pregnant and not be able to have the surgery. Its so close I dont want it to go away, but if I am preggo, let's be honest....my hips can wait :D We haven't been doing anything differently. Same procedure, but not filling the tank if you get what I mean. But it would be just my luck to find out I am pregnant.
Another thing I am worried about is the fact that store will be franchised out either right before or while i am recovering. In the case that happens, I will be forced to return to work and re-apply for my job, and if I am on crutches, I dont know how physically capable they will see me. So I am worried about that, but since we are so close now, that is not likely.
Another things is that the insurance companies may decide its not necessary and deny the surgery. I may need to look into how to make sure these guys dont try no bull shit. And as far as my job goes, I am totally stressed about leaving my store for someone else to care for!! GAH!
Another thing is the week of and after my surgery. I will be spending a lot of hospital time alone without family (husband). Which will be lonely :( But I can do it and I will be home soon. And who knows, maybe someone will show up and keep me company.
In 16 days, Dec 6th is my appt with my PCP to get tests done and all that jazz before surgery. Blood tests, EKG, etc. Also we will be looking at my health since my weight loss so that will be cool to discus :D
And 3 weeks til my pro-op appointment. I called my surgeon's assistant to ask a couple ?'s One being about when to donate my blood. She let me know that at the location of Swedish Hospital that the surgery will take place, the facility does not store donated blood like that onsite because they cannot store it. So they told me unless I have any issues in my history or any issues currently, I do not need to donate my blood. They said they test mine before and then have what they have at the facility ready to go just in case. But they cant store patients blood there.
Until next post.... :)
You might be Dysplastic if....
I read this on another person's blog and I like it :D
You might be dysplastic if ...
1. You are under 30 and own a walker, a raised toilet seat and a hip kit.
2. You have said, "it's not a hip replacement, they are breaking my pelvis" more than once in the same day.
3. You are adept at doing the "fist in hand" demonstration of a what a normal hip looks like, followed by what YOURS looks like, followed by how the surgeon will correct it.
4. While carving a turkey, you take the opportunity to demonstrate for your guests how periacetabular osteotomy works using the carving knife, said turkey, and a few screws from the junk drawer in the kitchen. You end up ordering pizza.
5. You are the youngest person in your aquatherapy class.
6. You are the oldest patient at the children's hospital.
7. Before going on any outing you ask, "how far will I have to walk?"
8. You can spell "iliopsoas" and "trochanter."
9. Eskimos have hundreds of words for snow. You have hundreds of words for hip pain: snapping, grinding, tin foil, popping, giving way, ripping, tearing, shredding, burning ...
10. Even though you got a "C" in high school biology, you can name and describe the function of every muscle, tendon and bone between your belly button and your knee cap.
11. You practice sleeping on your back so that you'll be ready for the weeks post surgery.
12. You are a woman but you say the word "groin" a lot.
13. You have posted a picture of yourself in a hospital gown on the internet.
14. You have posted pictures of your incision, your x-rays, your hardware, or your surgeon on the internet.
15. You've refinanced your house and/or cashed out your retirement accounts just in case you have to pay for a surgery which your insurance company may, at the last minute, deem "not medically necessary."
16. You have a blog which you update hourly (first week post diagnosis), obsessively (in the months leading up to surgery), daily (the week before surgery), daily with help from a family member or nurse (from the time the epidural comes out until you leave the hospital), bi-weekly (from the time you leave the hospital until you get to throw the damn crutches away), then twice monthly until such time as you just want to get on with your life again. You then update the blog one year after surgery with a picture of your healed incision. Unless ... you need surgery on the other side; if so, repeat.
You might be dysplastic if ...
1. You are under 30 and own a walker, a raised toilet seat and a hip kit.
2. You have said, "it's not a hip replacement, they are breaking my pelvis" more than once in the same day.
3. You are adept at doing the "fist in hand" demonstration of a what a normal hip looks like, followed by what YOURS looks like, followed by how the surgeon will correct it.
4. While carving a turkey, you take the opportunity to demonstrate for your guests how periacetabular osteotomy works using the carving knife, said turkey, and a few screws from the junk drawer in the kitchen. You end up ordering pizza.
5. You are the youngest person in your aquatherapy class.
6. You are the oldest patient at the children's hospital.
7. Before going on any outing you ask, "how far will I have to walk?"
8. You can spell "iliopsoas" and "trochanter."
9. Eskimos have hundreds of words for snow. You have hundreds of words for hip pain: snapping, grinding, tin foil, popping, giving way, ripping, tearing, shredding, burning ...
10. Even though you got a "C" in high school biology, you can name and describe the function of every muscle, tendon and bone between your belly button and your knee cap.
11. You practice sleeping on your back so that you'll be ready for the weeks post surgery.
12. You are a woman but you say the word "groin" a lot.
13. You have posted a picture of yourself in a hospital gown on the internet.
14. You have posted pictures of your incision, your x-rays, your hardware, or your surgeon on the internet.
15. You've refinanced your house and/or cashed out your retirement accounts just in case you have to pay for a surgery which your insurance company may, at the last minute, deem "not medically necessary."
16. You have a blog which you update hourly (first week post diagnosis), obsessively (in the months leading up to surgery), daily (the week before surgery), daily with help from a family member or nurse (from the time the epidural comes out until you leave the hospital), bi-weekly (from the time you leave the hospital until you get to throw the damn crutches away), then twice monthly until such time as you just want to get on with your life again. You then update the blog one year after surgery with a picture of your healed incision. Unless ... you need surgery on the other side; if so, repeat.
Sunday, November 13, 2011
36 Days to go...
So, not much is going is on. Except for time ticking away at the moment. I am getting anxious and calmed about the whole thing. We still a few more things, and the month of Dec will beso freaking busy man. I started and finished my 5y.o's christmas shopping. I purchased my husband's gift today! And still need to wrap all my daughters gifts. So far I started putting up christmas lights and got some decorations. I need to get all the lights and decorations out asap and see what I have and how I am going to put them up this year, since we just moved to this house about 6 months ago and havent put any lights up here yet :D
I am so busy right now! I am planning my first Thanksgiving feast this year and since i am doing it all myself, i still need to learn some details I havent picked up from cooking with my mom. mostly I have a good idea, though just need to get the preparations for it and cook the things we want. Excited about that!
During December I have appointment after appointment and so many phone calls to make regarding my PAO on Dec 20th. Having have all decorations and planning for kids christmas morning :D Hopefully I will be feeling ok enough to be involved. My surgeon's assistance Sarah just called me and we discussed upcoming events and appointments. She reminded me that Dr. Downer likes to have patients out on the 2nd or 3rd day post-op. Which is either 22nd or 23rd. So should be home for Christmas! As long as eberything goes well and smoothly. The location where I am getting my PAO does not have the capacities to store patients blood on site, so Sarah said that if the blood is needed, they then send for it or have it ready on site as a backup and all proper testing to match in case a patient needs more.
We just bought some new couches and we love them! And yesterday we painted a couple matching walls to tie the room together. We did a great job!! :D
Aside from all this I have to do, I am needed at another location for my work and my boss has asked me to help her by visiting this store more to make sure orders are getting done. I also must do so much training before I leave and get my office organized and terminate and hire people. I also have to have meetings and complete raise reviews for my managers. BUSY BUSY BUSY!
All this work and then to sit on my butt whoooooeee a vacation!! LOL
I am so busy right now! I am planning my first Thanksgiving feast this year and since i am doing it all myself, i still need to learn some details I havent picked up from cooking with my mom. mostly I have a good idea, though just need to get the preparations for it and cook the things we want. Excited about that!
During December I have appointment after appointment and so many phone calls to make regarding my PAO on Dec 20th. Having have all decorations and planning for kids christmas morning :D Hopefully I will be feeling ok enough to be involved. My surgeon's assistance Sarah just called me and we discussed upcoming events and appointments. She reminded me that Dr. Downer likes to have patients out on the 2nd or 3rd day post-op. Which is either 22nd or 23rd. So should be home for Christmas! As long as eberything goes well and smoothly. The location where I am getting my PAO does not have the capacities to store patients blood on site, so Sarah said that if the blood is needed, they then send for it or have it ready on site as a backup and all proper testing to match in case a patient needs more.
We just bought some new couches and we love them! And yesterday we painted a couple matching walls to tie the room together. We did a great job!! :D
Aside from all this I have to do, I am needed at another location for my work and my boss has asked me to help her by visiting this store more to make sure orders are getting done. I also must do so much training before I leave and get my office organized and terminate and hire people. I also have to have meetings and complete raise reviews for my managers. BUSY BUSY BUSY!
All this work and then to sit on my butt whoooooeee a vacation!! LOL
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