Some ramblings...

Oh I am so excited! I can not wait to meet with the new surgeon Dr. Phil Downer. I have heard great things from him. 3 more days until i have my second opinion. I was talking with an old friend a few days ago about learning of the labral tear and what will be some fixes. And she asked me, "Aren't you excited?" My first reaction was "Emm, NO" But after thinking about it I am excited to know what is going on in there and knowing what is causing me pain is awesome. Not excited about having to go through all this, and truly I am just done. Done with pain, done with aching, clicking, catching, twanging, crying, nerve pain. Done with limited mobility, weight gain, inability to move when I want, how I want, where I want and for as long as I want to. Done with not being able to run, ride a bike, roller blade, walk a mile with my family, stand for a while, sight see, walk in the park or the zoo. Crawl on the floor with my daughter, run around with her, play with her the way she wants to do it.

So yes, I am excited to finally know the truth of what is going on and to know that someday very soon this quite possibly will be over and I will be able to do everything and thousands more of what I mentioned above. I have remembered one thing from reading blogs and that is "Tomorrow will be better than today." So I will need to keep that in mind because that simple phrase has so much meaning and can be so powerful to someone going through something like this.

I wish my husband was going with me but he cannot miss work right now due to his job. So again I will be alone. Though I may need to just drag someone along with me for support. I have also read that bringing someone along with you preferably a male, will soften the doctor you're meeting with but either way I will ok. I am noticing I am having way too high hopes for this meeting with him and I am expecting him to be my saviour! Gosh, I really hope he is :) But if it does not turn out the way I want, there is another person still and the only thing I need to do is wait to meet him. So count down to Friday :D

Last week I went to my health care team and got all my records regarding my hip and I went through everything. It was very empowering to learn what the doctors have said about my hip, what their feelings are, and the "doctor-speak" for what is going on in there. I also googled everything I did not understand so I can be more prepared for my next appointment. I encourage anyone to do the same. Why not get your info and read up on it, it is very helpful even if you never look at it at least you have it there. I swear since I have read the notes by the doctor analyzing my MRI that I can feel exactly where the tear is. I know where I have been feeling the tear pain prior but now when it happens I know what it is and I can feel when it will happen. I can even make it do it purposefully, though probably not the best thing. I have been trying to prepare my hubby for all the possibilities of any type of surgery that I may have and he is not taking it well. I hope he can be my strength support because I am going to need it, BIG TIME :)